Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The First Pitch Service (il Primo Tiro)

I would like to take this opportunity to announce the availability of my official 'First Baseball Pitch' service which will be available to any major league baseball game held in a stadium with projected attendees of 35,000 or more.
Sure, you could go with a President of the US, a former hall of fame athelete, or some other celebrity, but why do that when Bored Neoclassical Guy could bring a stunning 57.5 mph fastball high and away?














For an extra $5000, I'll even ride out to the pitcher's mound on a two horse chariot.

Way to go this season, Texas Rangers! And, SF Giants, not bad either!

15 comments:

  1. *eye roll* Men and their balls.

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  2. I've been trying to work this angle for a while, myself. I mean, at least I would get it to the plate, unlike, say, Mariah Carey.

    *shudder*

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  3. Has anyone told you you are the spitting image of W. Bush?

    Good Luck with that!

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  4. That's a great idea. I will also keep an eye out for any ships that need Christening or ribbons that needs to be cut at new construction projects. I'm sure your talent extends beyond baseball to other activities too.

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  5. You should definitely take that position for the next world series. ANd heck yeah, Rangers did great. I'm not upset at all.

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  6. I answered your question on my blog.
    Here's an anti-boredom quiz that is worth it and guys can do it too!
    http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/proust-questionnaire
    Have fun !!!

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  7. OWO,
    Yes indeed... Hey, MLB.com has a good link to baseball physics in case you are interested.

    MJenks,
    It's beyond me why they select some of the people they do. Sounds like a really bad time if Mariah is throwing out the first pitch and Rosanne Barr is singing the anthem.

    Nikki,
    Your comment makes me wonder about 'spitting image', you don't mean 'spitting on' right? :)

    Tom,
    Ribbon cutting! I completely forgot about that market segment. You can be the senior vice president of that division, heh.

    carissajade,
    Rangers!!! I heard a newsguy say Dallas Cowboy football fans are now chanting 'let's go Rangers' in the stadium because the Cowboys are doing so poorly.

    Mosaicista Appassionata,
    Ahh, a combination of the best parts no doubt.
    My proust-questionnaire came back as most like Arnold Schwarzenegger's answers. I had better start learning the German language?

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  8. German could be a lot more useful. I was Aretha Franklin but when I first did it months and months ago I was Joan Collins

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  9. That is a great idea! Especially the chariot part.

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  11. You're on...

    OK I will get 35 001 of my friends into my back garden, build a mound, hire a chariot and get a ball.

    I suspect you want expenses too - yes?

    Does it matter that nobody in this funny little country will understand what you're doing, that they all think baseball is just a kind of rounders with funny gloves and that they'll all need a cup of tea after a few minutes?

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  12. Oh muddly mucks, I made a mess

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  14. Oh that didn't work.

    Tidy up Eric.

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