Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Big Round Numbers (Un Centinaio e C’ho il Dente Avvelenato)

Well I checked the count thing and this is my 100th posting. I don't usually make a big deal out of large round numbers, because if people only had nine fingers I would have been celebrating my 81st post as if it were something special. And the year 1458 (9^3 * 2) would have been when all the computers probably would have had trouble. Calixtus III might have died in a related airplane crash.

Other than the extent to which other people's superstition about big round numbers affect me (like stock market indexes, for some dumb psychological reason), I don't really give much thought to them. I do maybe believe in a bit of karma now though.

Yesterday while driving to work, a road crew stopped their work trucks in my lane and started placing cones immediately. It was annoying because they didn't wait for the light to change, which would have given people the ability to change lanes and continue on with life. So I was stuck behind the trucks and the grinning idiot worker placing down 5 feet of helpful road cones.

Like anyone in this situation, I indicated that I needed to get over to the right into the next lane of traffic. So as the cars whizzed by, eventually the light at the next intersection changed and everyone started slowing down as the line of traffic to my right built up. About to turn in behind a car just in front of me to the right, I did one last scan of the mirror and saw a gigantic white SUV speeding up and cutting off my only escape. On purpose. Because they were being sociopathic. Really.

So like a good ticked off individual, I layed into the horn. They thought it was funny, one of them pointed. I got behind them in the right lane as the light ahead changed to green and cars started moving. They are looked back at me, so it was most unfortunate that they didn't notice the light changing yellow, then red.

But, I'm pretty sure they saw the bright flash of the camera controlled intersection as they accidently ran through the red light. I waved.


  1. I bet that was satisfying! I love when idiots on the road get schooled. Owned by the cameras losers! Ha! Of course, it's less funny when it happens to me but whatever...

    Last night some dude in a posh convertible talking illegally on his cellphone just pulled into my lane without warning or looking and made me screech to a halt. Imbecile. I had the windows down and might have said a bad, bad sentence rather loudly in his direction about "assholes" and "phones" and where they could shove them. Yep. I stay classy.

  2. Karma's a bitch, suckas!

  3. Ahahaha! That is excellent. I can't stand when people do that.

    By the I totally want to run a road crew truck around town where people dressed as cones jump out and place themselves. Love that photo. Maybe someday when I have lots of money and endless time. Until someone gets hit and sues me. Can't win.

  4. There have been times where I've contemplated keeping large, throwable rocks in my car for just such occasions.

  5. Now my issue with this is this. What if one of your readers has nine fingers and the rest have ten?

    We need to figure out an appropriate equation so that you can be delighted and celebratory at certain milestones.

    The first thing you should do is poll your readers for the number of their fingers. And while your at it, make sure you find out if any of them also count with their toes.

    Then take an average. So let's say you have an average reader toe/finger (whatever they count with) number of 9.99967 (6 s.f. seems sensible). From this you can work out when to celebrate.


  6. While I certainly appreciate the instant karma, I can't condone anything that pertains to those red light cameras. They are evil and they must be destroyed.

  7. Ha ha! Cone movers are not the brightest brains of the bunch.

    Happy 100! Here's to 100 more.

  8. Happy 100-post-a-versary.

  9. Carma, gotta love it!

    Happy 100th post!!

  10. Congrats on your 100th post!

  11. Ah ha! Revenge is a dish best served ... er, on four wheels on a busy intersection.

    Congrats on the big, round 100, Eric! :)

    Ps: I really like the traffic cone pic ... don't you just HATE IT when somebody turns up to a party with the same outfit?

  12. It's times like that when giving them the sweetest smile is more satisfying than the rudest of hand gesutres, even ones involving finger puppets acting out what you think their mother did to a waiter in Greece nine months before their birth.

    Also, would that be one hand with 5 fingers, and the other with 4, or something fractionally more symmetrical, like 4 and a half each?

  13. Happy congratulations on post 100...and where can i get a cone costume?

  14. Karma is a beautiful thing :D

    Congrats on your 100th post! Keep up the good work; I enjoy reading your blog, and look forward to many more posts.

  15. Since you don't believe in the big 100 number, I will wait and congratulate you when you hit 117 posts. I love a happy ending to a traffic story.