Sunday, August 8, 2010

Concentration (Ricordando)

Do you remember the game played as a child in which a large group of cards had images of different objects printed on them?
The point of the memory game was to turn one over and remember the location of the matching card (there were only two of each).
Unless a player was just freakishly lucky, it would involve having seen the matching item on a previous guess.

Well, I used to be the world champion at that game*.
All my life I've been blessed and cursed with a really lucid and complete memory. I can remember early things like standing in a crib crying when I was almost two and the lightning outside scared me. Minutae of things that happened at various times in my life are easily accessible.

* not really certified by an independent auditing firm, I just speculate
based on my performance relative to everyone else I had ever seen play.

Anyway, the memory has been helpful in my academic and professional life, but sometimes it creates awkward situations, as a few months back at a friend's wedding in a historic mansion in Dallas.

While the bride and groom were getting photos done with their respective families, everyone was milling around the open bars outside. I noticed a dark haired lady who appeared to be a single mom having trouble keeping her daughter from running around all over the place at the fancy event. We talked for a moment, and then I recognized her.

You see kids, sometimes, on the internets and in magazine publications, racy photos of scantily clad women sometimes *ahem* appear. It was not as fun as you would think meeting someone that you've, um, observed in a different setting.

When dinner was about to start, I noticed that I was seated at her table. She seemed like a fairly well grounded lady, even though she complained about her ex a bit too much in a wedding environment. The uncomfortableness of knowing a bit more about her than the rest of the people at the wedding soon faded.

If you ever find yourself in a comparable situation, don't say a word about it. Are you wondering if I did, because of the way I just said 'don't say a word about it'?

I did not!


  1. I had to shake hands with this woman once.

  2. That is the most amazing story ever! I have never had a run in with a famous person or even a semi famous person, let alone a highly attractive female famous person.

  3. So does this mean she was your high school teacher? Yoga instructor? Works at your bank? That's what you mean right, Tex? Uh huh, that's what you mean I'm sure of it.

  4. Oh man. You should've. A simple "I admire your work" and perverted grin do the trick. Not that I have any experience with this.

  5. Bwhahaha!! This post is just too funny!
    I'm glad you didn't say a word about her lady bits. That would have been sooo tacky... :):)
    Tee hee...

    She's pretty, btw.

  6. What is really sad is that she probably got paid for the photo shot, signed the release forms and had no clue what the photos were going to be used for.

    You did good for not mentioning it.

  7. Why do I never meet the male version? It's so unfair. I just get the drunken uncles at weddings.

  8. This is fantastic. And yes, well done that you didn't mention that you saw her "work". Ahem.

  9. Amusing post. I really enjoyed the photo too.

    All the best, Boonsong

  10. I would certainly enjoy meeting one or two of the well-endowed men I have seen in certain films...

    It would be such fun to pretend I had x-ray vision, and be able to accurately picture the details.

  11. WendyB
    Whoa, that's an uncomfortable moment hanging out with that lady.

    What? I thought you know all kinds of celebrities like WendyB up there.

    Vegetable Assassin
    Um, yep.

    Well I should have tweeted that situation to you for your advice!

    Dutch Donut Girl
    A gentleman doesn't tell, right?

    Yeah, kind of sad. She should have held out for way more money :)

    Madame DeFarge,
    Whoa, Drunknucle sounds like a great band name! Hah.

    Ahem... :)

    Hah, thanks, I liked the photo, it wasn't her, but who's complaining?


    Madam Z
    Ah, X-ray vision, the purvey of airport security screeners and superman.

    Ha, thanks