Monday, August 30, 2010

What Are Rabbits Good For Again? (Coniglio Nate Casino)

I don't know about you all, but occasionally I find myself at odds with wild rabbits. Sure, they are cute and fluffy, but around these parts I'm convinced that they have an evil attitude. Allow me to explain.

I've been working outside on some tile and mosaic around the house (yet another reason for being kind of sparse with postings). Part of all that involves leaving cut pieces of marble in a handy spot to mortar down. Well, I'm sure Mr. Bunny thought it would be so hilarious to leave a single rabbit poop right near where all my brown marble pieces are located. Not several, just one well placed round rabbit leaving.

Why wouldn't the rabbit go here instead, on the nice freshly laid marble in an exotic pattern? I know I would, you know, if I were the 'go to the bathroom outdoors' sort.

The first day it happened, I chalked it up to random chance. Dumb animals walking around doing their business where ever the moment found them? I used an old broom to brush it away.

The next fresh dewy morning you could imagine my surprise as I found another single piece of joy left for me in about exactly the same spot. Well at that point I was starting to get a shadowy glimpse of the evil intellect I've been up against. I then angrily sealed off the trails under the fence with various slabs of limestone, thwarting the cottontail's return.

Two days later, after the little bastard managed to dig another entrance, I find a poop not in the 'normal' spot, but directly on an aluminum architect square it had seen me measuring mosaic layout with over by the marble pieces. Oh, now it's personal! They are horrible little plague carrying pointy eared rodent-monsters. I'm convinced they are smarter than people give them credit for.


  1. Ha! Good writing. Sounds like they have it in for you.

  2. Uh-oh, a blood feud begins!

  3. It's because you called them rodents. They hate being called rodents, do rabbits. Gets 'em all carnivorous.

    Also, they're latrine animals, so when they find a spot they like, usually with a good view, they try and stick to it.

    Obviously, a nice mosaic counts as a good view.

  4. Heh. Bunnies.

    You could hide out in the dark with your shotgun. It's what they do around here. :)

  5. I think basically they were just showing appreciation for your fine art the only way they know how.

    The only evil bunny is Frank from "Donnie Darko". If he's leaving you gifts of poop, you should think about moving.

  6. I think the bunny was just admiring your work and got "the urge". He frantically looked around for a tree to hide behind but you cleared all of them for your Roman bath.

    Actually aren't bunnies like ducks and have no sphincter?

  7. maybe he thinks he's helping? give the little fuzzy some credit. he's creative. with poops.

  8. Tee hee hee... poop harrassment.
    Rabbits poop alot so this bunny is actually suffering from an extraordinary poop condition.

    Or maybe he's just trying to take over your pool one poop at a time.

  9. My ex mother in law would say that rabbits are good for eating!
    Maybe he thinks all them other brown pieces are the poop pile!

  10. Maybe they want to be immortalised forever in your marble. Or maybe they don't think your cement is strong enough.

  11. I would leave you some advice on how to get rid of them, but after 40 years of research, Loony Toons has taught me that the rabbit will always outsmart man. (And a roadrunner will always beat a coyote)