How I Made An 'A' (Tentativo di Attentato Scongiurato)

As I was leaving work from the center of downtown Dallas yesterday as I sometimes do, a lady that I can only describe as frazzled and unkempt walks into the parking garage elevator while I'm waiting on the lift. She said 'I can't believe the building was almost blown up!', which raised a bit of concern on my part. When you hear that something only almost happened, what are you supposed to think? So I pragmatically replied, 'Well, it was a good thing it wasn't then, huh?'

Then my mind raced on questions like, 'Well, if the authorities told this lady, why didn't our company hear about it?' and things like that. Apparently the distribution of terrorism control information is an imperfect system at best. While driving home, I get the real scoop on what happened.

A Jordanian illegal immigrant had purchased a fake bomb from the FBI, parked the truck carrying it next to a nearby downtown building, and even went as far as pushing the buttons on a phone which the agents said could be used to detonate it. Hahaa!!! And then Ashton Kutcher ran out and shouted at the would be mass-murderer, 'You were punked, dude! Hahhaa!' (in my mind that part happened, anyway).

I kind of wondered what happened when the number on the phone was dialed. Did an agent pick up and say something? Maybe he was patched through to the automated FBI feedback system so he could leave a big thumbs up for a job well done? Heheh, we may never know.

So no one was in danger from Hosam Maher Husein Smadi (or 'Sam' as his friends called him). Samadi = Sam reminds me that mjenks just had a post about a 'Sam' of Middle Eastern descent who was a social retard and was basically shunned. Hopefully, this guy wasn't the same Sam who read mjenks post and went over the edge (probably not, because of the whole time differential and other factors).

In college, I only crossed paths negatively with one individual from the Middle East. As some of you are familiar with, in college, there are not assigned seats. This fellow I'll call 'Privileged Iranian', had apparently sat in one of the seats up front the previous day in a biology class. He glared at me with the white hot hate of 1000 suns for sitting in 'his' seat. I honestly don't think I've ever seen someone with as much absolute hatred in their eyes about anything, much less something as trivial as not sitting in the same seat as yesterday.

It was humorous. Then he confronted me and shouted. I laughed (because it was funny since the situation was ridiculous to me) and then threatened to kick his ass (c'mon, I was young), and the next day he didn't show up. It probably had something to do with his twisted sense of honor or some crap, but if you go to someone else's country, play by their effing rules.

Sometimes I wonder if that guy might end up in a terror training camp or funding one. It's a good thing I'm not in charge of the military, because I would probably use horrific and atrocious tactics (the likes of which the world hasn't seen for thousands of years) for dealing with any cities filled with people like this. Am I alone in this type of thinking? Sure, I know several Muslim people from this part of the world, but all of them seem to be pretty well balanced. It is a shame that some crazies ruin things for everyone.


I have a bit of a story about that biology classroom by the way. The night before the final exam, I was persuaded to go on a drinking spree with one of the fraternities at the lake. Let's just say that the 'Coors Silver bullets' had wounded me a bit. It was cold out, so I threw on an ice hockey hooded sweatshirt that was exceedingly warm and headed out to take the exam.

As the exam booklets were being handed out, a guy to my right exclaimed 'Man, you smell like a liquor cabinet.' Shrugging it off, everyone started to take the final exam. About 20% of the way through the exam, I began to notice how warm the heater was in the room. Even the professor was shaking his head and commented about how hot it was. Being overly hot and hung over, I started to feel sick but choked it down for another 30% of the test.

After what seemed like an eternity of overly hot stuffy torment on a flipping stomach, I stood up, walked quickly to the door grabbing the little metal trashcan on my way out and proceeded to puke at least 120 oz. of Colorado beer into the trashcan just outside the classroom door.
Of course, it was highly embarrassing as other members of the faculty stopped by and with pity in their voices asked if I was ok. I mumbled yes thanks, picked myself up and went back into the biology final exam. I made an 'A' on the final.

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Uomo pazzo comprato una bomba finta, è stato arrestato dalla polizia in Dallas.