Friday, September 4, 2009

Those Kids Were Almost on the Short Bus (Autobus Quasi Disastro)

I was driving to work this morning and couldn't believe my eyes, I saw a near collision! A large yellow schoolbus in a lane in front of me was heading the same direction I was. Out of nowhere, a white Toyota Camry sped directly towards the bus and nearly hit it and my car. My car and the bus were both heading South and the Toyota was heading North. Luckily the Toyota didn't cross the double yellow line that was between our vehicles or there could have been serious damage and maybe even loss of life.

In other news, whenever a pool contractor mentions that they will give you time between cleaning and plastering to do your custom tilework, be sure to ask about the actual window of time. Would it be wrong for me to have assumed, say, a day? Why yes, it was wrong. Maybe four hours of daylight (a half-day)? Wrong again!

My cleaners finished at 8pm and the plaster subcontractors were scheduled for 7am the next day. During this time, I had to lay the tile on thinset, let that dry, seal the stone, let that dry, then do the grout, and yes, you guessed it, let that dry also.

Normally when I do such tasks, I have the wonder of working in daylight where I can actually see the results. But instead, picture a guy awkwardly holding a flashlight on the neck like a mobile phone while frantically wiping grout at 2am. Yay. I'll post some pictures soon, you know, after I finish swimming because I don't want to take the camera in the pool.

I apologize that I've been extremely busy lately, and haven't had spare time to acknowledge awards and memes and stuff, much lest post. But here is a meme that I can get out of the way. The Jules has tasked me with describing seven traits, and I've seen some of you blog-geniuses out there doing this one so I will attempt to answer also. I wonder what happens if two bloggers simultaneously tag each other *looks up and to the left, resting head pensively on fist*? Would we have infinite meme recursion? Well I for one am not going to tag anyone, but do with this what you will:

1) Lack of patience on the phone is definitely a trait of mine. If someone can't communicate what they are trying to say in the first minute or two, they should just get *off* the phone.I'm not saying that you have to talk like '1920's Reporter Guy', but just say it already...

2) I make things and probably should have my own manufacturing company by now. Whenever I see something nice, my first thought is usually 'How can I make that?' Don't most *normal* people think something along the lines of 'Where can I buy that?'

3) Owing any institution or person money makes me extremely uncomfortable, so I live on the positive side with no debt and within my means. If you want to drive me crazy, buy me lunch and refuse to let me pay you back, ever (But I'll find a way to pay you back, even if you don't realize).

4) Whenever I see a puzzle (especially word or anagram scramble related), there comes with it an obsessive compulsive need to solve.Here is one for you that I just thought of:

'Manic Arranges' = '?' (source words are a clue to the answer)

5) Cold weather is much more enjoyable to me than hot weather, maybe it's just because I live in Texas and am tired of hot weather. Even on a boat, the cold is nice.

6) When picking my passwords, I always **** * ** **** *******. **** ** **** * *******?

7) Under any circumstances, I will not eat watermelon. Or anything that tastes even in trace amounts like a watermelon including but not limited to cucumber, cantelope, honeydew melon, watermelon bubble gum, etc.

Everyone have a great weekend. I imagine all of the US folks will since it is a three day stretch...


  1. Jeez, Eric! After seeing that bus let's just keep it at: YAY for you being alive and without a scratch! You must have a huge guardian angel on your shoulder or something.

    As for trait number 6: * **** **** *** ****, right?

    Whatever, I know it's lame but that's all I've got on this Friday with my worried and fried brain.

    Have a good weekend

  2. Thank god no one was hurt!

    "picture a guy awkwardly holding a flashlight on the neck like a mobile phone while frantically wiping grout at 2am"
    :-) It's a shame nobody took a picture of that. Hilarious!

    I completely understand the phone thing but what's up with the watermelon? :)

    Have a nice weekend too.

  3. Glad you didn't get creamed.

    Thank gawd for long weekends. Hope yours is safe and relaxing.

  4. Talk about your near misses! Looks like you'll definitely have a good weekend. Take out a Lotto ticket too maybe.

  5. So glad no one was hurt. That looks scary indeed.

    I read once that Martha Stewart used to garden by flashlight in the middle of the night, since she only needed 4 hours of sleep a night. So perhaps you are the Martha Stewart of mosaics? It's a good thing (but maybe not in the middle of the night...)

    Look forward to pictures. Hope you can take some R&R time soon!

  6. "infinite meme recursion", hehehee

    1) I'm crap on the phone. I leave startled, rambly voicemails and smile and nod instead of talking when I'm actually on the line with someone.

    2) I have this with jewelry and bad paintings.

    3) I hate owing somebody money because I have paranoia that I'll forget and then they'll hate me for never paying them back.

    4) Eric N anagrams? I couldnm't figure out what the spare N was.

    5) You crazy. Hot weather is where it's at. Also, chicks wear less. ; )

    6) **** ****.

    7) Damn straight, melon is the worst fruit ever.

  7. Man you are PICKY! :) I'm kidding.

    I'm like that with making stuff too. At the moment I'm trying to figure out how to make this coffee table I saw....

    I detest melon. I like cucumber though.

    When I did this meme yesterday I got so crazy with it I forgot to tag anyone! What a selfish BITCH! You know I'd have tagged you though.

  8. what is it with watermelon. my dad HATES it, so I rarely had it growing up - because of that I've always perceived it as a huge treat to eat outside the home. I get a little too excited over it as if it were choc. cake or creme brullee - but I never buy it and will only eat it at other people's houses. We are the opposite in several of your ways (not the cold weather or owing people money - I'm with you) ... we'd get along famously.

  9. Dude, you should've called! I would've come down there and flashed you.

  10. I have to say that the thought of you grouting a pool in the dead of night made me smile. I hope that - whatever time you finished - you treated yourself to a strong lager.

  11. 1. Agree.
    2. I do this all the time with paintings.
    3. Money slips through my fingers. I never keep track of who owes what, as life is short and if I have the money to buy a friend a beer I will.
    4. Hmmm puzzling.
    5. Yes! I love chilly gray weather with a bit of drizzle. Perfect for cozy sweaters and snuggling by the fire.
    6. Who can remember passwords?
    7. Watermelon is okay but when it comes to juicy fruit I prefer Mango.

    Just seeing that smashed-in bus made me cringe. Glad you are okay.

  12. With you on the phone thing to the point that I leave it on answerphone so they have to be concise or text.

    I do like watermelon though

    Sounds like you need a holiday Eric

  13. I can't believe all you pissers don't like watermelon, its so tasty!

    I wish I could comment on something else but ive really lost my train of thought when I read all these watermelon haters. I didnt think there was anyone who didnt like watermelon.

  14. Good stuff!

    Glad you're still alive and not half man, half car. The blog would suffer in the event of your death.


    (Nicer anagram?)

  15. I will do ANYTHING not to have to talk to customer service on the phone. B's been luck enough to get some damn good trades out of me in exchange for calling all sorts of service people for me.

  16. making stuff is so much cooler than buying it. Plus, then it can be exactly what you want.

    I couldn't eat watermelon for the longest time because I ate some soured watermelon as a kid and got sick. I'm just finally able to eat it, but I'm still not crazy about it. Cucumber is awesome though.

    By the way- ever since you put that pic of you up I end up staring at it. Being good-looking might be a deterrent to me actually reading your blog.

  17. Whoa! I'm glad an accident was avoided. That's a pretty amazing picture. I had to laugh.

  18. Ladytruth,
    I agree about #6.

    Dutch Donut Girl,
    The pool is done now (except for the tile decking), and it was awesome this weekend since it was still about 33C.
    Watermelon is evil.

    The weekend couldn't have been better. Well, if I had won the lottery or something...

    Oh man, I should have bought a lotto ticket.

    Every year, there are literally billions of near misses on the road as cars pass each other.
    Haha, Martha Stewart! There was a time when I only needed 4 hours, now it's more like 6.

    I'll bet your paintings are good!
    That aspect of owing is bad also, I forgot about that one.
    Good guess on the anagram, but nope.
    Totally forgot about the less chick clothes angle, maybe I'll tolerate the heat another couple of years anyway.
    Yes!!! Someone else with no love for the melon!

    Vegetable Assassin,
    I can tell you are a natural born do it yourselfer, I mean, you'd have to be in order to take off across the wilderness in a trailer.
    And another stands up and is counted as a melon hater!!!
    I figured everyone had already been tagged with this one, so...
    Anyone reading this, feel free and all that :)

    Your dad is a wise man, and you have quirky watermelon eating habits, which is great.
    :) Opposite? *In the voice of Dr. Evil from Austin Powers*
    'We're not so different, you and I?'

    !! Ok, next time I'll call :)
    Oh, you mean with a light.

    I can laugh about it now. Now that I've had several beers.

    I like your painting improvements. On money, I think I keep track more because my dad never did.

    I do need a holiday, so I'm glad the Italy thing is coming soon.

    Mr. C,
    Who knew anyone was so pro-watermelon?

    The Jules,
    You are exactly correct on the anagram!!! Except you left off the 'S' at the end.
    The judges will credit you on the guess though.

    Yes! Customer service is the worst. Wait, what kind of trades?

    You are right, I love reading about your creations in glass.
    Yikes, cucumber is still a bit like watermelon. I can only eat that in tsaziki (sp)?
    Haha, thanks for humoring me and feeding my feeble ego. I'll take the picture down if it keeps you from reading the blog though. :)

    You laughed at a picture of a crashed school bus? ;)
    There wasn't actually a near accident, I was joking about how there are almost always accidents as vehicles pass each other on the opposite side of the road.
    It was kind of inspired by the blog stylings of Grant Miller Media, but I think it failed.

  19. I want to see pictures of your pool...and of your 2am grouting!!

    Glad you didn't get hit by a bus...or a Camry.

  20. Lopez,
    Ok next post, but you'll have to promise to come back even if your Facebook is finally back up...

  21. I too think about how to make things instead. Which means I never get anything I want because I'm either a) too cheap or b) too lazy to make it!

  22. Is that a picture of you...over on the side towards the bottom above the Tweets?

  23. Eric:

    I jumped the gun on the whole comment submit thing.

    It was devastating when my Facebook was down...but look...i came back really soon and still no pictures of the pool. Sigh. LOUD Sigh.

  24. Nikki,
    Hah! Sometimes you have to break down and buy the luxury sedan. Building cars from scratch is difficult.

    Why yes, it is.
    Regarding pictures of pool, ask and you shall receive, sort of... (don't sigh too much)

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