Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Advertising and Drinks (Alcolico e Pubblicità)

Another hot summer day is winding down in Dallas. As I look out my window, I can see the swimmers are out in force at the downtown Sheraton. I have the strangest urge to mix a martini with ginger Skyy vodka, but I can't exactly put my finger on why.

Ohhh, right, probably because of the twenty story outdoor banner in the right section of the photo with the gorgeous red headed girl with her dress apparently up behind her head?

When did these monumental banners become standard? Sure, in antiquity, emperors like Augustus and Constantine had ginormous statues and monuments made (and probably banners which have long since disintegrated). But, I'll bet they were not visible from Arizona like the one I'm looking at this afternoon.

Computers, die sublimation, and massive vinyl printers are making billboards out of everything. Surely it's only a matter of time before the moon itself is used to sell beer or something. I wonder if advertisers realize that I'm not really going to be paying attention to that ad for toothpaste wrapped on the Hummer in traffic two lanes over. Mostly because there are several other cars with the same type of overly colorful commercial spew all over them before my eyes ever get to that.

Maybe huge monumental advertising and banners could be North Korea's primary export going forward. They must be well positioned for it from a capital equipment and labor standpoint with all the propaganda banners everywhere.

With all of that being said, I still want to buy a die sublimation printer and reams of 52" vinyl so I can adorn my sedan with topical subjects every few days, maybe even every few hours. Imagine the fun of leaving a professional sporting event with the printout on your car with the exact score and some verbiage like, 'I can't believe that Romo threw three touchdowns in the last quarter, suck it Eagles.'

What gigantic advertising have you seen? Or do you just block this stuff out now like I try to? If you are a 'blocker', try my rocks margarita this week to help:

5 parts Sauza Three Generations tequila,

10 parts Sweet & Sour mix (NOT the stuff you dip eggrolls in, the greenish mix such as Jose Cuervo brand, sheesh, really???)

2 parts Triple Sec

2 parts Cointreau

1 part Dole pineapple juice

Lots and lots of crushed ice so it takes away the tart / sweetness.

ps - Increase the tequila parts if you've seen more than 20 monumental ads today.

and stay cool


  1. I live in Beelzebub's armpit, or Norfolk as they prefer to call it around here, so there's not much advertising on a humungous scale, not unless you count "fresh strabries 'ere" daubed on a piece of broken fencing in cow poo as advertising.

    Oooh, the margaritas sound lovely!

  2. hahahhaha GI's comment was hilarious! This whole post was hilarious Eric, I loved the moon part.

    I'm always scanning my competitor advertising as well as any creative stuff that stands out, but yeah sometimes it gets overboard.

    The absolute worst thing is when you come out to see your car has been touched by some loser putting flyers under your wipers to advertise some stupid business or "opportunity."

  3. The most egregious thing to me has to be the big green advertisements they put out on the Interstate. Exit 4, Tampa 10 Miles, etc. I never even see any of these products in the store.

  4. They want to put giant, advertising wraps on our school buses here. Talk about an eye sore. I hate those things.

    Great post.

  5. A few years ago when I was still living in Manhattan, they experimented with covering the entire Flatiron building in an ad to see how it would go. How it went was people got violent and incensed and outraged and tourists got pissed off because they wanted to photograph an interesting building not a giant ad. So that didn't last long thankfully. I had to walk past it every night on my way home and every time I growled and said a bad word.

    I truly thing they'll advertise on any public space allowed if they can. I hate it. I hate advertising.

  6. Ooh pineapple juice, great idea! I guess I don't even notice that stuff. I am sad to say we decorated our college apartment with all those sky vodka posters. We thought they were classy ;)

    Quit being so observant.

  7. Unless they've got half naked people on them... I'm probably not going to pay attention.


  8. Girl Interrupted,
    Aw, your hometown is, let's see, quaint? Hah, I think they would just taste better if they were called strabries. x
    These margaritas are sneaky bastards, you must pace yourself or you won't feel it until too late!

    Mr. C,
    In my mind's eye, I have them projecting a 'Blue Moon' beer logo with lasers for any given hemisphere on earth to see.

    Haha, exactly, you would think they would make better use of the space too, all one color and stuff.
    They don't have much creativity, I'm afraid.

    Yeah, that's weird. What if they advertised something incompatible with kids, like cigarettes, alcohol, or adult cabaret locations or something?
    Won't they just be high-fiving each other about their great revenue choices then?

    Vegetable Assassin,
    Yes, I agree it's wrong that every surface has turned into a potential repository for ad spew.
    But now, tell me a story about your gorgeous red hair and how good ginger vodka is to get my mind off the advertising sprawl.

    Well I imagine with your good design sense, the vodka posters were nicely framed and hung at the correct level.
    Email me if you want to talk ideas about you guys' upcoming vacation to St. Maarten.

    Only half? ;)
    Tequila is your best friend for the first hour, and your worst enemy every hour after that.

  9. I guess I have stopped paying attention.
    Thanks for the drink, but I'll pass.

  10. 'kim-jong-il thinks im at work' slayed me!

    I know there are big advertising banners where i live (london) but i can't actually picture any of them. It would explain why i have the urge to buy random crap though.

  11. Giant advertising? Does the word "Juicy" stretched across someone's ass at the bus stop count?

    Would love to see the Burma Shave advertising signs come back...

    To get away from hairy apes
    Ladies jump from fire escapes
    Try Burma Shave


  12. I will be having something waiting for you on Monday's post. Come on by and get it.

  13. that thing is HUGE!*

    *that's what she said

  14. *snicker*

    I only pay attention to banners when they have sexy men on them or (women with) sexy lingerie.
    Eye candy.

    "I can only point upwards"
    Wow Eric, thanks for sharing that with us.

  15. Here in Melbourne we seem to have plenty of gigantic advertising posters telling us how to have good sex! And no Carrie Bradshaw in sight...

  16. My hubby and I were just talking about those huge things as we passed downtown Dallas yesterday! He (of course) noticed the giant redhead, but there are also the giant Crown Royal bottle and the giant Toy Story 3 banner visible from the 30E/75N split. Crazy times!

  17. If we ever do end up advertising on the moon, I think it is only appropriate for Tang to be the first product.