Monday, May 25, 2009

In Memoriam


Memorial Day found me today at a baseball game in Texas, complete with the national anthem, swearing in of new military members, beer, nine innings of baseball of course, and annoying mascots.

Something I had never really considered until today was that the teams probably don't dryclean the mascot uniforms very often. When the noisome thing passed by, the odor was somewhere between a fetid old box of moldy rags and the body smell of whatever poor soul had to dance around in the heat with that thick polyester-acrylic death suit on. Of course, there were little kids sitting in a section directly behind our group that were repeatedly hailing down this ragged behemoth during the game. It was all very distracting while trying to focus on the actual game (and smelly), but cute I guess.





I tried to draw a parallel to the closest things similar to all this in antiquity. One can almost imagine colosseum gladitorial teams having a horseheaded mascot like the one from today running up and down the stands, knocking over people's beers so they have to buy new ones. Maybe it was all fine, because everything probably smelled bad back then. But really, what is a colorful polyester horse going to add to a gripping life or death combat among circus animals and fire?



Are you going to cheer just a little bit louder? Honest?


Perhaps the ancients' version of North American car racing (NASCAR), the chariot races of the Circus Maximus, had their own goofy mascots. It would be fun to think that the chariots might be covered with advertising like the racecars of today. Pit crews frantically changing the metal bands around spiked wheels, women with excessively low tube tops with short blue denim cutoffs wandering around.



The game actually ended up being not all that interesting. Even without life or death gladatorial struggles on the baseball diamond today, it was good to be out on a nice day doing what they say is America's pastime. But next time, I think I'll roll like the emperor and get everyone to pitch in for a suite.




37 comments:

  1. babong babong!

    now why can't they have chariot races anymore. Nascar doesn't even come close to that.

    btw there's an invitation for you at my blog should you want to move.

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  2. I love baseball but not half as much as I enjoy crowd watching. Especially when you get big rival teams like Yankees vs. Redsox when there are 50,000 people and they all want to kill each other. I especially enjoy when there's some guy the size of a nuclear submarine, jamming hotdogs in his maw while dispensing loud, sweary advice to the players about how to improve their agility on the field.

    Admit it, you only wrote this entry to host that photo of the lady with boobies in the tight, sweaty top. I know your game young man.

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  3. I dig the new look of your blog. It's cobbleriffic!

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  4. i have no idea about baseball, not even the stuff they made us learn whilst at school. i've tried to purge it all from my brain.

    if i'd had a choice between doing baseball and lawn bowls, well! lawn bowls would win each time. it's sedate and dignified. plus you get to wear white outfits. crisp!


    and that is why i don't like baseball.
    the end.

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  5. You + baseball was something that surprised me. I like that last photo, captures the whole thing perfectly...

    Did I ever tell you that when I was young and foolish I left a bogey (booger) on a wall of the Coliseum in an act of adolescent rebellion?

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  6. Mr. C, it's very tempting, but I like my current 'trailer'. Maybe for like a summer home or something.

    Vegetable Assassin, am I really that transparent? As transparent as the lovely blue shirt the lady had on?
    ps - people watching is great at events like that, I agree completely. BTW, how are the car keys, do you know where they are *right now*?

    :) Katrocket! Thanks girl, I think you might be the first to mention it. I still need to adjust the edges in the background image so there isn't a line, but I've been busy lately so it will have to wait.

    Hi Projectivist! LOL
    What a great story about why you don't like baseball (I especially like the way you wrote 'the end.').
    I'll have to try to start a lawn bowling league in Texas, complete with the crisp white outfits (like tennis at a fancy club I went to a while back).

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  7. the cobbles are brilliant!
    we haven't come that far from the lions vs christians.
    desmond morris writes about this in The Soccer Tribe - very interesting take on crowd behaviour.

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  8. Mo - Sorry I missed you just then... Haha, yes the picture did indeed capture pretty much both whole things, I imagine.

    No, not defilement of the sacred Colisseum!!! There it was clean, pristine and bogey free for almost 2000 years until... *choked up* ...there just aren't words I tell you. lol

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  9. Hi Sas! Whups, I missed you just now also...

    Thanks! Those cobblestones are actually bits of marble tessarae from my copy of a Delos mosaic made a few years back. The picture of it is in the March postings (most of the art stuff is back there because it takes a while to do these with a day job).

    I'll have to check out The Soccer Tribe, thanks. I'm convinced that the only thing that keeps anarchy and complete mob rule from happening these days is the thin layer of police and military.

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  10. I bet the gladiators were smelly. But if they were as hot as Gerard Butler in 300 (not a gladiator I know but close enough, and Russell Crowe is awful) then I'm sure nobody minded.

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  11. Hi S&C, the cinematography in 300 was interesting. It seemed to have a weird video game feel to it. Does Russell Crowe make you proud to be Australian?

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  12. I like this post...I like your comparisons. I have never put much thought into the dry cleaning of a mascot suit, nor have I had the luxury of smelling one up close, but I guaranty that will be a goal at my next big sporting event!

    Damn, that woman is hot...i mean, sweaty gross and sticky!

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  13. Hey Lopez! Be careful there, the smell can be quite wretched...

    Yes, she is in fact quite hot. I sympathize with her, as a matter of fact, I think I might need a cold shower now myself. :) Say, you have a hot picture over on Mr. Condescending's new post, I believe.

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  14. Hey, Crowe was born in New Zealand and they can have him back as far as I'm concerned.

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  15. Oh yeah and I can't believe I left TWO comments and forgot to compliment the new look! I like it a lot.

    Molto bella. Or should that be bello?

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  16. S&C, Crowe's his 'off the field' behaviour leaves something to be desired.

    Oh thanks for mentioning the layout. I need to clean some stuff up yet, but I think it will be 'home'. I would say belissima, because my site is a 'she' like a boat or something...

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  17. Yea, you know Blue Tanktop there is hot; but she smells like an old mascot costume.

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  18. Maybe they should bring back throwing people to the lions, there are a few politicians I'd fling in.

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  19. NASCAR Jousting.

    Now that would be entertaining.

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  20. You had me at colosseum gladitorial teams. Those romans were extreme brutal. They would have killed your mascots.

    P.S. Wow, that lady has a nice cap ;)

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  21. Hi Jocelyn, I might be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt at first just to make sure. You know, for her benefit, I mean.
    I'll have to check out your blog after work!

    Lulu, truer words were never spoken. :)

    The Jules, ouch... I've seen bicycle jousting in a film once, and then there was that goofy film Knightriders where they were all on motorcycles and jousting, but NASCAR kicks it up a notch for sure.

    Dutch Donut Girl, yep, life was cheap back then. And I would really try not to, but I worry that I would laugh if I saw a mascot 'get it'. ps - She was wearing a cap? haha

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  22. Re: Mr. C's post...yeah...I do...I'm FAMOUS!!!

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  23. Lopez, your husband is a very lucky man. And it's a good thing I just sat down at work because I can't go anywhere now, thanks. (yes, I'm being 12)

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  24. Not being American, I just don't get baseball at all. But throwing baseball players to the lions whilst wearing a toga - THAT I'd pay good money to see!

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  25. Anna, I'll take you to a game if you ever come to the USA.

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  26. I've just been reading about gladiators etc, very interesting!

    Do you think that girl has an "Outie" belly button or a belly button stud?

    I always wanted to have an "Outie" belly button

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  27. Hello Girl Interrupted :)
    I think it's probably an 'outie', unless it just happened to be a ring shaped like an outie??? I haven't seen those though.

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  28. Nice pictures. :) And yes... the mascots are gross, and I hate it that they know what I look like but I don't know what they look like. Maybe that's just the paranoia talking. Still... mascots and clowns are no bueno.

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  29. :) Gross mascots...

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  30. I'm sorry. What were you saying?

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  31. Grant, a case of 'Another one fights the bust'?

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  32. I adore baseball with all my heart in soul.

    Because I'm not a Communist. I'm an AMERICAN, dammit!!!

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  33. *in the voice of Joe Swanson from Family Guy*
    YEAH!!! YOU GO LILU!!! BASEBALL AND USA!!!

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  34. I can honestly say I've never smelled a team mascot before. Tasted one, of course, but never smelled.

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  35. Shawn, thanks for dropping by. You have an excellent blog by the way, luckily I found through Heather Cherry & Julie D's.

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  36. Well hot dang, Texas and baseball! You asked for it! Hey, I was in Lubbock, did you see me wave? No... didn't think so. lol.

    NASCAR .. yes quite a vison comes to mind.. all those things you mentioned, but what ever will the rest of the pit crew do? Oh... no tires, so someone will have to reshod the beasties in .08 flat? Of course that would be per hoof. I don't need these visions dancing around in my head.. lol it might get dangerous... hide the pencils!
    I think I have to agree.. that blue shirt most likely smells like your fermented mascot. I can't say as I've ever seen sweat stains in quite those places before... but that is a nice uh.. necklace. What really worries me though, is how come no one mentioned the guy with the two torsos? Wait.. never mind! Answered that one myself..... lol. I guess i'll go cuss and swear at blogger some more. Thanks for stopping by today Eric, bet your sorry you did!

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  37. :) Toni, I like the reshodding idea. Good point about hiding the pencils too, lol.

    BTW, I was really just trying to take a picture of an interesting thing behind the blue shirt lady, but she inconsiderately ran out in front of whatever it was I was actually trying to take a picture of. :)

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